Saturday, December 5, 2015

Thoughts to my dear friend about loss

My dearest friend Jason lost his brother nearly one year after he lost his sister. This is the fourth sibling he has lost.

Jason,
I just wanted to respond to you about something you said today. You said you felt like this was going to hurt a lot more, implying that you didn't allow yourself to grieve as much when your sister passed. I think that in making a conscious choice to allow yourself to grieve, that is ultimately the healthiest way to find long term healing. I can tell you one of my biggest regrets is how I put distance between me and my grief when I lost Chip. To this day it pains me that I didn't allow myself to feel his loss. I feels like I did an injustice to him and my children and in the end, to myself.  I think by allowing yourself to be enveloped by his loss and accept your pain, that when time moves on, you see how you have only grown stronger by learning to live with that grief and accept it. I love you Jason.