New Responsibilities

I have been lost for so long, in terms of involvement with the world outside. I do what is absolutely necessary, but little beyond. When my husband first passed, I chose to disconnect from all reality. I didn't answer the phone, didn't return calls, quit going out, and quit opening mail. Everything seemed so unimportant. Now, I feel like I may be able to leave my room, and even the house. I am putting effort into cleaning up all that was neglected. In my efforts I see how much I have let slide, and it feels overwhelming! Every time I try to fix my real world problems I get more difficulties thrown back at me. I struggle with adapting to doing all household tasks alone. And I am making a mess. I just saw more bills come in and dealing with financial issues was something I knew would never be a problem for me. That was when I saw life go on forever, not dissolved at 35. I just unrealistically wish everyone else would have put my responsibilities on hold as long as I did.