Sunday, January 11, 2009

I'm so different.

When I write I tend to just spill it all out and release my emotions on paper. In the morning I can regret being so frank. Sometimes I resist writing down my true feelings and adding them to this site because I'm sure they will be viewed as skewed and abnormal. I'm not sure anyone is as messed up as I am.
My Mother allowed for one year to get back to normal after she couldn't cope with my new personality... but that year has come and gone and I an still not what they expect me to be. I don't know how to break free from the reclusive emotions I feel or the crushing need to be alone.

2 comments:

A Journey Well Taken: Life After Loss said...

Despite what anyone may "allow" you to be, you have suffered a loss, a devastating loss. Grief is crazy, emotional, unpredictable.

It is uncomfortable for those around us, but it is your journey. Be kind to yourself, you are not crazy or abnormal. I am five years into this journey and I know well the messy emotions and mixed up life that this grief journey takes us down.

If you need to cry, cry. If you want to be alone, do that. But also allow those who love you to help and support you. I wish you the best. elaine

Anonymous said...

I just lost my partner of almost sixteen years. I have so many regrets and mixed emotions. I have some of his ashes and I talk to him all day long and before I go to sleep. He was the love of my life and my soul mate but I refused to marry him. I found him dead a week ago and I feel lost.