November 4th, 2015
Falling in love is not easy. In order to fall in love I needed to completely let go of all my mistrust fears and doubts about the person I'm in love with. That's you. When I fell in love with you I put my heart into this 1000%. I believe that you are who I am meant to be with for the rest of my life. I believe you are my one and only, forever. So even though you have said you're sorry I can't wash away what happened last night. This is now the second time that you have truly without heart and void of any love told me that you are leaving me. I guess I'm just having a hard time seeing how someone who loves me could tell me they're leaving me so determined and firm and resolute. I couldn't do that to you. Now it makes me question whether you are my true love and my one and only. I know that I love you but I'm not equipped to handle that type of pain. I'm just not strong enough. Along with that was the physical actions. What you did was what's happened to me before and it all started with being spit on. To spit at someone is the most degrading action you can do without violence. It lets the person know they're nothing and lower than low in your mind. You say you won't do it again but that's what you said last time. Do you really want to be in this relationship? If you do give me your 100%. If we have issues we need to talk about them not wait until were out of boiling point and make but could be a discussion into a huge break up fight. Once again I love you but your actions are beginning to make me just trust you. How can you have true love if you can't trust your lover? This to me seems like a huge step backwards and unless we can fix this I don't know how we can both be happy. My only hope is that we can use that experience to help us grow move past it be stronger and love each other more. Do you think that's possible? Do you truly feel in your heart that you are in love with me?