What happens now?

I have changed so much since I lost my husband, and I wondered how many of us have felt these obvious changes to our personality. I use to react much more to situations, and have more involvement in life all around me. I always surrounded myself with family and friends, and if there was an event, I was there. Now stay home 90% of the time. I rarely answer the phone...I have nothing to say or give. Peoples look at me with disappointment that I have allowed my self to morph into this sad, empty, and selfish person. My parents are the most difficult...they want to know when I plan to get up and enjoy the day. They constantly ask me to come over, and set themselves up to be disappointed by my refusals. My dad is a religious man, so he has his opinions of what needs to be done to become a "normal me" again. His ideas give me no pause to stop and think, "Oh, ya...that's all it will take, Jeez, Your right!" instead it makes me want to avoid them. My Mom will say...”let's go out..." when she sees this is not going to happen, she'll end it with a GUILT comment "We use to have fun, you know".... I know I am different, but this is me right now, and I can't force myself to be someone else, and I won't. I will try to be the best I can be for me, my kids, and my family...but I won't let other people make me feel ashamed of myself. The only way I cope now is just making sure I distance myself from the intense loss and loneliness inside me. I am trying to focus on who I am now as a single entity, and embrace the strengths I am finding in myself. In truth, I like me...not the recluse part, but the part that is more accepting, less judgmental, and really cares only about being accountable for me and my actions. I no longer care what others think, or would say about me. I am me.