Information I found regarding The Process I am going thru

The physical and emotional exhaustion of phase two often leads people into phasethree: “Retreat”. The restlessness, desire to stay busy, and the anger and frustration willturn to the desire to be alone, to rest, and to contemplate and reorganize. This phase ismost commonly characterized by withdrawal, despair, decreased social support, andfeeling helpless or hopeless. Physical symptoms consist of an increased need for sleep,fatigue, weakness, and a lowered immune system. The body needs to slow down andconserve all the energy that was exerted in phase two. By the time phase three is reachedthe bereaved is near exhaustion. Sleep is an adaptive response to the insomnia of phasetwo and individuals in phase three may find themselves sleeping a lot. Bereavedindividuals may fear they are depressed as they’ve heard that excessive sleep is a sign ofdepression. However, in this case, it is most likely a restorative response of the body.This phase finds individuals wanting to retreat and be alone as feelings of utter despair ofthe realization that the deceased is never coming back begin to sink in. Quiet time ofreflection is often important to people in this stage. Social support tends to decrease atthis time as most friends and family have gone back to their daily lives, and loved onesexpect the bereaved to be getting on with their lives.9Psychological aspects of phase three include feelings of regressing, preoccupationwith the deceased, discarding old goals and a glimmer of knowledge that life may still beworthwhile. Phase three is typically the longest and most difficult phase. Realization hasdawned that every aspect of life has changed, and the bereaved may feel as if the purposeof one’s life is lost forever. This is an important time for the bereaved to review his or herpast life and assess how life will be handled in the future. New patterns must be formedand all of this will take time and reflection. At the completion of phase three a firstglimmer of hope can be identified and feelings of hopelessness will subside.“Loss of a spouse isone of the most serious threats to health, well-being, and productivity that most peopleencounter during their lives”Give yourself time. It typically takes 1 to 5 years to go through all 5 tasks — and even longer if the spouse's death was unexpected or traumatic, LoCicero says.Honor your feelings, mentally and physically. Especially early on in your bereavement, "a lot of people think they should grieve this way or they should resume a particular activity at a certain time," Noel says. "It's unique to each individual. Put aside your expectations of what you think grief should look like and follow your feelingsAmerica has been called the land of "fast-food grief". We are somehow expected to get over a major loss in a few days, or weeks at the most. Other cultures do not expect this of people. They realize that we all need much more time to heal. Most of the time, it takes about two years to become fully functional after such a significant loss.